Self-control. Without it our lives are like a city where the protective walls have fallen down (Prov 25:28). With it, our lives demonstrate that Christ's presence dwells within us (Gal 5:23). Self-control emerges as one of the nine evidences – or fruit – that God has taken up residence in our hearts.
The word “self-control” is the opposite of “self-indulgence”. It is the divine enablement to say “no” to what we want that doesn’t accomplish God’s purposes. For example, when we are angry we may indulge our desire to set the record straight, but do nothing to show someone they are loved, valued, and important.
I blow it at home, and especially with my kids. I shout for them to be quiet when I want to indulge my desire to hear the weather report. I miss the opportunity to make a memory with them when I indulge my desire to escape to the garage. I realize that my lack of self-control gives evidence to my selfishness.
Self-control states, “Life is not about what I want. It is about what God desires to be done.” That attitude does not come naturally to us. It is the by-product of the Spirit transforming our character into the likeness of Christ.
Will you take a moment to consider how the concept of self-control applies to your parenting? I hope you’re doing better than me at exercising an “other-centered” posture in your home!
When it comes to correcting your children, commit to be patient before responding. Allow the Lord to bring perspective and insight to your next parenting challenge. Ask, “Lord what do You desire in this situation? What are You seeking to accomplish, and can I help You in any way?” And we all need an occasional break from parenting - no apologies necessary. When we indulge our desire to escape and miss multiple opportunities to interact with our kids, we sacrifice far more than we realize.
Self-control surfaces when God's Spirit gives us strength to stay in the parenting role, denying the selfish indulgences we are drawn toward. That leads our children into the mature, Christ-centered life that God intends.
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