Relationships with Siblings - Part 1

Daughter: “Mom, what causes sibling rivalry?”
Mom: “Having more than one child.”
 
According to a study done by the University of Michigan, sibling rivalry is “the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters.” Relational tension can stem from a child seeking to define himself as different from others in the family, perception of unequal treatment, or the desire for more parental attention. Regardless of what issue “lights the fuse” you have the joy of putting on the “fire fighter’s hat” and either snuffing out the issue, or at least controlling the burn! 
 
Romans 12 provides instruction for how to treat others, insights that can help us address issues between siblings.  Take a few moments to read verses 9-16 if possible. And if you’re kids are brawling right now, read these suggestions faster!
 
1.      Celebrate devotion to one another – Even when competition surfaces, or siblings get caught in endless cycles of comparison, it is helpful to affirm that each person is loved and valuable just by being part of the family. Lead the charge by equally affirming what each child does well. Express your commitment to allow each person in your family to grow in his or her areas of interest. A child should know that the whole family will cheer him or her on. 
 
2.      Serve the Lord together – Sibling rivalries are common around the world. Consider this Arabic saying, “I against my brother; my brother and I against my cousin; my brother, my cousin and I against the stranger.” While kids often focus their energy against each other, they also come together to fight a shared enemy. Choose a global issue that each person in your family can rally around. You can all join the effort to stop homelessness or hunger in your city, or to lead an effort to clean up the local park. Serving together is a super way to take the focus off of intra-family battles. 
 
3.      Live in peace – While impossible to force kids to love each other, you can encourage living peacefully together. This means helping your kids work through arguments, seeking a “win-win” solution where everyone gets something positive from the outcome. Without solving every issue for them, help kids identify the cause of the problem and explore mutually beneficial ways to resolve it. 
 
 

Camper Corner: What do you value about each person in your family? How can you serve together in a way that promotes family unity?