“If you love me, keep my commandments.” John 14:15
As we mentioned previously, the objective of parenting could be described as raising children to become responsible, discerning, and productive adults. For Christian parents, we also desire to teach our kids how to grow in love for God and toward others. Raising children who value obedience and respect is central to accomplishing this parenting goal.
Granted, at times teens lose respect for parents – and for good reasons. Parents also make choices that demonstrate a lack of regard for the rules. We shouldn’t be surprised when kids find it difficult to swallow the “Do as I say, not as I do” line. It helps for Mom and Dad to affirm that – together as a family – we want to live in a way that demonstrates our obedience to God’s plan for life.
- We all live under authority – While your kids might not like the school principal, or understand the need to drive under the speed limit, you can help them realize that all of us answer to someone. Working parents answer to a supervisor, and at some point, most of us have answered to the policeman standing at our car window. Ultimately, we all answer to the Lord and will give account for our choices.
- Rules, for the most part, are meant to protect and not to harm – We have a rule in our home that the kids can’t surf the internet alone in their rooms. While not yet teenagers, my oldest daughter wanted to know the reason behind the rule. I explained to her that she was welcome to go online in our family room, but that the internet was a place where she could stumble across all kinds of evil. Because we love her, the rule is meant to protect her from harm. When your teen questions the rules, be prepared to talk about life as it would be without that particular rule. Who would be harmed?
- Obedience and Love are tied together – Jesus’ comment to his disciples links these ideas together. An obedience problem – at times – can be symptomatic of a person’s lack of love. God doesn’t desire for us to obey out of legalism. He prefers that our obedience be born out of our love for Him, for His grace, kindness and forgiveness.
- Natural consequences are the greatest teachers – If your teen is rebelling, resist the urge to rescue him or her from the consequences. Rescuing a teen only reinforces that he or she doesn’t have to be accountable. Losing car privileges is a small price to pay to learn that drinking and driving are not acceptable.
Obedience and respect are best taught early on with a child. Johnny will pick up that theme on Thursday.
Camper Corner
Where do your peers struggle to show obedience or respect? What are the consequences that might come from their choices?
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