Bullying - Part 2

Bullying is a reality.  It’s not just a sitcom, or a dvd game. 
 
It comes in many forms and it inflicts pain – deep pain. 
 
First, why is the bully being a bully?
It’s hard to be sympathetic to a bully, but is there a trigger? When we understand their triggers we can better handle their inappropriate behaviors. It could be the bully reacting from a wound, or a deep hurt. Wounds can be from being rejected at home or school, feelings of anger, fear, contempt, jealousy and shame. Bullies feel like their “out of control emotions” are in control when they power up, manipulate or just act mean (a false sense of control). The point is: below the erupting volcano is a scared, lonely, insecure adult or kid.
 
Second, what do we do?
We recognize bullying and deal with it. We deal with it by talking about it to God (prayer) and to the appropriate people (adults). Speak up, not only for yourself, but speak up so that the hurt will not continue to another. Bullies are cowards that try to act tough with roughness in their words, presence, and intimidation – often when we wisely step up and redirect the situation they will back down and back off.  So, we must recognize that the bullying is WRONG and UNACCEPTABLE. It is evil and destructive.  No one really thinks it’s funny. Pray a millisecond prayer and ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) then choose to follow it: walk away, ignore, speak up for a friend, and be there for that friend by listening.
 

• You can choose quality friends, but you must be a quality friend.
• You can redirect the bully’s words, stay calm and don't get into a word war.
• You can walk away and stifle the energy by ignoring and letting God do the correcting.
• Revenge is God’s business and His alone. Only He can execute vengeance perfectly, see Romans 12:19. 
• You can learn to “think twice” about your own responses and totally defuse the whole situation.

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Third, Bullying isn’t limited to a playground.
You’ll face it, disgrace it and confront it throughout your whole life. Have you seen any 40 / 50 year old bullies? 
Don’t be a bully. Don’t encourage or enable a bully. Don’t let your friend bully.
 
Parents Corner
 
Sometimes we can bully, manipulate and be controlling to our own kids – this is destructive. As in all encounters get all the story and fully understand before jumping to conclusions. We must be aware of our own tones, attitudes and actions. A general, helpful website is www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov for additional awareness and help.
 
Here are some scriptural directives that will make all the difference:
 
Romans 12:16-21              Correct attitude and actions
James 1:2-8                        Character builder and wisdom acquirer
Ephesians 4:22-32            Choose kindness and forgiveness
 
Mom, Dad, your message to your child must be “know I’ll always be in your corner”... a phrase from Max Lucado’s book “Just in case you ever wondered” ( a great book for your kids). 
Pray and ask for God’s wisdom and strength. 
 
p.s. Know that we at T Bar M Camps DO NOT ALLOW bullying at Camp and DO address bullying with our staff.