"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
Can you still hear the voice of your Mom or Dad? After years of hearing our parents tell us basic rules, cautions or encouragements, that "internal" voice can echo in our minds for a lifetime. Psychologists describe this as our conscience, or "superego," which is the development of a sense of right and wrong most often flowing from the value system of our parents. Their voices resonate into adulthood, reminding us to "drive safely," "don't touch that stove," or "don't blow your temper."
How does this relate to our scripture for today? I think this Proverbs verse has done as much damage to Christian parents as it has inspired them. Far too many Christian parents have inferred a "guaranteed success" to this verse. They assume, "If I will take my kids to church and raise them in a Christian home, then I can rest assured they will continue to follow the Lord throughout their lives." Many Christian parents can tell you from brutal experience that this is simply not true. They carry a deep sense of guilt and failure over the choices of their children. They wonder, "What did I do wrong?" Let me try to offer a few words of hope.
1. It is right to instill your Christian values in your children. Way back in Deut 5, we see God's plan for passing on His ways from one generation to the next. It starts at home with parents who talk about their faith - when they wake, at meals, on the road of life, and when they lay down for bed. Mom and Dad are the primary way God intended for children to "catch" a faithful lifestyle.
2. Children grow up to be adults who make their own decisions. As many as 75% of kids who participate in organized Christian activities in high school drop out within one year of leaving home. Listen to that again. Most Christian teenagers choose to opt out of church when they leave home. Even if your child seems to be choosing to opt out of Christian activities before leaving home, you are seeing the signs that he or she needs to explore and come to a sense of "ownership" regarding faith values. Your child asks, "Am I doing this because I believe it, or because my parents told me I should?" Even flat out rebellion from Christian values will teach your children that there are consequences for sin and that God sets boundaries for a reason.
3. Most of those adult children come back to faith. Out of the 75% of Christian youth who walk away from church, over half of them return to faithful living when they begin having families of their own. Nothing provokes adult maturity more than the experience of raising children! By raising your kids faithfully, you model for them what parents are charged by God to do. They are likely to follow your example, simply because it is the version of parenthood that they experienced first hand.
4. Even those who walk away still carry the "voices" of your faith. What about the child who grows up in a Christian home and then leaves it with no intention to return? Remember those things you can still hear your Mom and Dad say. Your children equally hear your voices when they are adults. Some have said that this verse could be rendered, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and in the end IT WILL NOT DEPART FROM THEM." Don't forget that if your child comes to saving faith in Christ, the presence of the Holy Spirit lives in his or her heart, and God's Spirit remains securely embedded - able to teach, guide, instruct, caution, and remind him or her of God's ways. In other words, even if your kids walk away from church, the voice of the Lord will continue to abide in them. And His voice will sound a lot like you.
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