Picking Up the Pieces from the Loss of a Spouse or Parent
All of the sudden you’re it … you are thrown into roles that are unfamiliar. You now have responsibilities that you didn’t have before. Sadly, the loss of a spouse and/or parent is numbing and sometimes disabling. Daily duties change, things are different, and times can be difficult and exhausting.
Emotions run out of control. Times of confusion, anger, loneliness, disappointment, sorrow, loss, and absence all accompany the grieving process. Although difficult, they are important emotions to walk, and often, crawl through. At the same time, it is healthy to sit and pour out your heart to family members or close friends.
Most children may grieve internally and struggle with knowing how to express their emotions externally. Grieving spouses or children often become overly busy to avoid thinking about the loss/situation. As a loved one, give them space and time, but do not let them become isolated.
If you are in a place of such loss, in time, find and allow friends to take you in and treat you as family. Choose people, places and programs that benefit both you and the kids. Ask for help… then accept help. I buried my father several years ago. Things and life do become bearable again, yet the tears are still close. Expect the unexpected from shared memories of songs, events, places, and smells. Let them be a blessing. It takes time to figure out how to live with it and to go on.
Those who have not experienced such loss often do not know what to say or do. To help out, just be there and offer a listening ear, helping hand and open heart / mind. Reaching out is good, but don’t try to be a mom or dad replacement – rather be there as a concerned friend, mentor or loved one who offers to listen and care.
Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us to encourage; Psalm 116:15 tells us God’s view of death and Psalm 34 comforts us in our mourning and grief. Be a living, walking, serving Bible in your care giving.
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