“Then you will understand what is right and just and fair – every good path.” Proverbs 2:9
Parenting, at least parenting well, requires an extraordinary amount of wisdom. Adopting one response to every situation just isn’t practical. We are constantly forced into situations that stretch us to think creatively about affirmation, correction, and even punishment when necessary.
Does scripture lead us into this path of wisdom? YES! Proverbs are full of practical instruction for living a God-centered life – many of which apply directly to parenting. In Proverbs 2, we are encouraged to seek wisdom from God, and he will supply understanding to our path. Then we will be able to understand “what is right and just and fair” as we interact with our kids. Let’s look at each of these three words, and how the intersection point of what is right, just, and fair provides a helpful guide for us to think about parenting in a variety of situations.
- What is right – In many situations there is a clear choice or path that represents what is right, and clearly what is wrong. The Bible defines right behavior with words like honesty, integrity, doing good rather than harm, accepting others with kindness, etc. Ask yourself, “In this situation, do I have a clear sense of right and wrong?” But, at times, rightness alone isn’t enough to discern the right path.
- What is just – Justice involves an understanding of the situation, the factors that color or influence an outcome. For example, if your child abuses his or her texting plan, should you just cancel the service? Should you turn a blind eye? Wise parenting should lead us to ask, “What are the circumstances that lead to my child’s behavior, and how does this shape my parenting response?”
- What is fair – Fairness involves equity. Ask, “Is my response in line with what I would be willing to apply to other kids in the same situation?” Our parenting decisions should avoid rewards that others can’t enjoy, or punishments that others would never get.
Considering what is right, just, and fair leads us toward wisdom that avoids blind legalism or dangerous permissiveness. And where the Lord gives guidance, we parent with a gentle grace that blesses our children. And parenting with gentle grace introduces our children to the very nature of God.
Camper Corner
Being a kid in our world is complex. You end up in situations all the time where there isn’t a clear or easy choice to make. How can these three words, "right, just, and fair," help you make wise choices in your everyday life?
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