“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
Valentines Day is tomorrow. What a perfect time to discuss physical boundaries for our kids! Granted, this devotional will apply more toward families with teens, but you can decide how it touches your home. If your kids are too young for this one, maybe consider sending this along to a friend who may need it.
Our verse today could be one of the most commonly misinterpreted scriptures in current church culture. Youth ministers and parents alike use this verse as a warning to kids about not caring too much about someone; a warning against having a crush or falling in love with someone.
This verse, and the whole context of Proverbs 4, is not about regulating our care or love for someone. It’s not intended to keep people from becoming special in our hearts. This verse, and the rest of the chapter, is about keeping sin out of our hearts. When we read the rest of the chapter, we find that guarding our hearts from sin, not people, will affect our mouth, our eyes, and the path of our feet.
What many of us know from experience is this: if we don’t keep sexual sins out of a relationship, it will negatively distort the amount of love and affection we feel for someone. Let’s try to keep these things in mind:
1. Talk about this! – Silence from a parent is passive permission to a child. In other words, if you don’t have open and honest conversations about boy/girl relationships with your growing child, then don’t be surprised to find out that physical boundaries are being challenged at a very early age. Though the schools may teach the mechanics of sexuality in class, it is a parent’s responsibility to teach God’s intentions for this part of our lives.
2. Keep the train on the right tracks! – Stopping a train is as impossible as keeping your kid from having a crush. It’s more important that you help your child begin to learn how to navigate his or her feelings for someone. Central to those conversations is the importance of setting appropriate physical boundaries. You and your son or daughter should discuss where the lines should be drawn, and then you can help ensure that he or she stays on the rails. Our “rails” will start with hand holding – one hand on the left, one on the right equals two “rails” to keep everything on the right tracks.
3. Friendship over physical! Your son or daughter may not be ready for dating or even “special friends.” When he or she is ready, you can help by emphasizing the long-term value of learning how to care, even love someone within the context of a friendship. Physical contact in young couples, sadly, has become alarmingly normal. The greater value of these early experiences comes from the lessons learned about friendship. Stepping over physical boundaries not only leads to sin, but it can destroy a valuable friendship that may be worth keeping.
Remember, guarding your heart means keeping sin out of it. Helping your kid adopt appropriate physical boundaries will go a long way toward cultivating a healthy heart in relationships.
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